Survivor's Guilt
Beyond the glass I pale to see,
grinning all maniacally,
the killer staring back at me.
The one who tore a killing spree,
gliding slowly ever nearer
beyond the glass. I pale to see,
flexing knuckles bare in glee,
nails seeming ever sheerer,
the killer staring back at me.
Eyes glaring intently,
intent being ever clearer,
beyond the glass. I pale to see
the villain who has stole from me
all the ones I held dearer:
the killer staring back at me.
Drawing in the fog a V,
when I look into the mirror,
beyond the glass I pale to see
the killer, staring back at me.
About Survivor's Guilt
This poem was written for Professor David Morley's 'The Practice of Poetry' course, and explores the form of the villanelle, and indeed what it means to be a villain. Based on the poet's own experience of survivor's guilt, the persona looks inwards and questions if they might be blamed for the death of their loved ones.
The poem also takes some inspiration from Oscar Wilde's 1891 classic The Picture of Dorian Gray, in which Dorian's portrait displays a twisted image of the eponymous aristocrat, the image of his soul. Thus, the image of the killer in Survivor's Guilt is a metaphor for the evil the persona blames themselves for - or is the killer guilt itself?
Recorded on
DATE
Read by
Vance Hatton